Don’t Look?!

Okay, I’m not big into the religion thing, but when I saw this story about the Ark of the Covenant about to be revealed in Ethiopia on Friday, my interest was piqued.

Of course, the first thing I thought about was the famous climax of Raiders of the Lost Ark, when the ark is openend and those who dare to look upon it are instantaneously smited. And I hope if they do actually have it, and they do actually open it, it doesn’t actually melt everyone involved! Apparently, the Judeo-Christian God is a rather private entity, and doesn’t care for people peeking in on His business …

Seriously though, when I first starting reading this story, I didn’t get the connection between the Ark and Ethiopia — seemed kind of random to me, you know, like if you found a piece of the true cross in downtown Naugatuck. But then, from the article:

The idea that the Ark is presently in Ethiopia is a well-documented, albeit disputed, tradition dating back to at least 642 B.C. The tradition says it was moved to Elephantine Island in Egypt, then to Tana Kirkos Island in Ethiopia and finally to its present site at St. Mary’s of Zion Church in Axum.

… where it was stored anonymously in a giant warehouse … oh wait.

One of the interesting questions is that if it is truly the ark, why, after two millennia or so, are they finally bringing it out of hiding and displaying it now? Some say this is an attempt by the Catholic Church to become relevant again; others prophesize that the ark’s return will mark the beginning of the End of Times. Any publicity is good publicity, right?

Still, I suppose it could be the real deal, and we’ll find out soon enough. I just hope — as I saw a poster on Fark.com suggest — when they open it, it doesn’t have the frozen body of Bigfoot in it.

UPDATE: When it came time for the big announcement, the leader of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church, who had claimed he was going to unveil the ark, was conspiciously nowhere to be seen. No announcement was made, and no explanation as to why there was no announcement was given.

To me, there are three possibilities as to what happened:

1. The world called his bluff and there is no ark
2. He’s waiting for more drama to build
3. He tried to get in an early sneek peek, and now is a puddle of goop.

We’ll keep you posted.